


Hog-Malarkey

by ParkerCat, WillowDragonCat



Category: Thunderbirds
Genre: F/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:08:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28455825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ParkerCat/pseuds/ParkerCat, https://archiveofourown.org/users/WillowDragonCat/pseuds/WillowDragonCat
Summary: The Tracys get dragged to Scotland for Hogmanay.
Relationships: John Tracy/Original Characters, John Tracy/Selene Tempest, Scott Tracy/ Catriona George, Scott Tracy/Original Character(s)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 13





	1. Chapter 1

“Remind me again, just why are we here?” asked John with a shiver as the car made its way through the streets toward the centre of the city.

“Because Penny was invited to some fancy party at the castle and invited Gordon and Cat, which somehow ended up with all of us getting dragged along just for good measure,” Scott grumbled from the front seat, ignoring the whack on the back of the head that could have come just as easily from Cat or Selene.

“Well I think it’s going to be fun,” declared Selene firmly with a defiant look at John, daring him to disagree with her. “It’s not often we get to spend time together off the island as a family and the least you boys can do is stop complaining.”

“It’s cold, it’s wet, it’s too early and I have far too much work to catch up on after Christmas, I fail to see why I had to be included on this little trip,” John muttered under his breath, crossing his arms in an effort to keep warm. The driver had the heating on full blast but he could still feel the damp cold sneaking into every exposed gap on his person to freeze him down to his toes. 

“I’m looking forward to it,” Virgil piped up, a happy grin firmly fixed on his face. Scott shot a look at him that clearly warned him not to elaborate on that, on pain of death.

“Honestly, you men are so grumpy it’s ridiculous. I thought I’d married the only anti social one,” Selene said, ignoring John's huff of protest, “but clearly not. This is a chance to have a break, maybe take in the sights and relax and all you're doing is complaining. If this is how it’s going to be then Cat and I will leave you at the hotel and have some fun on our own, won’t we, Tippy Toes?”

“Absolutely. If you boys want to be miserable then that's fine, but you’re not cramping our style. I’ve not been to Edinburgh for years and I’ve been looking forward to this so I’ll be damned if I’m letting some grumpy ass Tracys spoil it,” Cat finished with a flourish.

“OK, OK,” Scott placated her. “We’ll get checked in to the hotel, get some warmer clothes on and head out to see what the city has to offer. How does that sound, everyone?”

“That’s good for me,” Virgil smiled, nudging Alan as he peered out the window at the fairground attractions that were in the gardens below the castle. “Wanna go and see those, squirt?”

“I’m not a kid any more, Virgil,” grumbled Alan, trying hard to ignore the matching grins on his brothers’ faces as they watched him trying to reconcile his love for anything that spun him upside down with his desire to be seen as one of the adults. “But I guess it might be fun…”

“I’d just like to say, here and now, that I am NOT going on anything that spins fast or does that loopy loop shit, not unless you want me throwing up on your lap. We all remember what happened last time I let Alan and Gordon drag me onto a ride and we won’t be doing it again,” Selene told them firmly. 

Alan sniggered to himself, reminded of their trip to the theme park a few years before. “I promise we won’t force you to do anything you don’t want to.”

“Good,” she huffed. “I need a relaxing break after the stress of dealing with you idiots the entirety of Christmas.”

“She’s just worried what she’ll blurt out this time if she goes on another ride,” Scott side whispered to Cat. “Last time she yelled for a divorce and they had only been dating four months but Grandma overheard and got all excited. They said they weren't ever getting hitched but now look, married and scowling all the time. I thought that only happened in TV shows.” He ducked and yelped when he received another smack around the head, confirming his suspicions that it had been Selene the first time too.

“I don’t think there is anything else she could yell out,” Cat whispered back. “Not unless she starts offering to sacrifice her first born to ensure her safety.”

“Don’t give Grandma more ideas,” Scott winked. “That would mean popping out a sprog first.”

“We can hear you, you know,” John hissed through chattering teeth, allowing Selene to wrap her arms around him in a bid to warm him up. Space was never like this, his suit kept him at the perfect temperature, space was quiet and calm and above all, didn't have his brothers there. This little trip was going to be a nightmare, he could feel it in his bones. 

“I know,” Scott assured him. “Doesn’t make it less true.”

“I think that's us here,” Cat called out, elbowing Scott in the ribs as they pulled up outside a grand looking old building right beside the castle, shutting down any further conversation. 

“Wow,” Selene whispered, her nose pressed against the window. “That really is a castle, an actual freaking castle. Bitch, we’re gonna be princesses!”

“Hell yeah, we are,” Cat grinned back at her as John and Scott exchanged a look of pure terror, wondering what was about to be unleashed onto the world.

“I wonder if they have decent bathtubs here?” Selene pondered, ignoring the sniggers that echoed around the car. It wasn’t her fault that Scott had told everyone about the room cleaning bill that Penelope had discreetly passed on to him after she and John had accidentally flooded a bathroom the morning after Penelope’s charity ball.

"I meant so John could warm up!" 

"Sure you did," Scott drawled, not sounding like he believed her at all. 

“Oh look,” Virgil called loudly, pointing out of the window, clearly having never been more thankful to see his younger brother in his life before. “There’s Gordo.”

John frowned, catching sight of the strained look on the aquanauts face through the rain speckled windows of the car. “He doesn’t look happy.”

“That’s not a good sign,” Scott agreed, throwing open the door before the driver could make his way around the car to open it for them, waving his aside impatiently. “Gordon, what's wrong?” 

Selene exchanged a look with Cat, one eyebrow raised, Cat shrugged in return, a small smile forming as she watched Scott striding across the pavement. It was always interesting to watch the sudden shift that took place inside Scott whenever his bro sense tingled. He could go from teasing to serious in the blink of an eye whenever he felt like one of his family needed him.

“I know that smile,” Selene whispered to the other woman, “should we be expecting another room cleaning bill?”

“He’s just so damn sexy when he does that,” Cat sighed dreamily.

Selene cast a glance at John who had apparently forgotten that he was cold and grumpy to join Scott in his interrogation, a frown creasing his forehead as he shifted effortlessly into work mode. “Yeah, I'm with ya, girl.” 

Slipping her arm through Selene’s, Cat towed her along as they scurried to catch up with the rest of the family, Virgil and Alan having exited while they had been eyeing up their men.

“So she was sick right there and then?” they heard Alan ask, his eyes as round as saucers, as the girls joined the huddle of Tracy that had formed.

“In the ice bucket,” Gordon confirmed with a sad nod.

“She didn’t go on any of those rides, did she?” Alan asked. “Because if that’s the reaction I’m definitely not sitting next to Sel on anything ever again.”

“Hey!” Selene protested, insulted on her stomach's behalf. Alan just shrugged, unconcerned, he'd only said the truth. 

“And you still don’t know what it was that caused it?” Virgil asked, trying valiantly to drag the conversation back to its original point, the medic in him wanting all the information. 

“No! One minute we were enjoying dinner the next she was bright red and honking like a goose whenever she tried to speak.”

“Definitely an allergic reaction,” Virgil agreed. “Any other symptoms?”

“Other than re-spackling half the bathroom from both exits and not coming out all night?”

Alan made a face that registered his disgust at his brother’s vivid description, he'd never look at the Lady the same again.

“Yes, other than that."

“Itchy, blotchy, pukey,” Gordon ticked off symptoms on his fingers like he was calling a register at Disneyland. “Swollen and dizzy. Nope, I think that’s about it.”

“Is that not enough?” Selene asked, her eyes widening in horror.

“Where is she now?” Cat asked, concerned for her best friend. Penelope was not one to be caught out in such a manner, she had very few allergies but always made sure that any chef was well informed before she dined, so this one had to be previously unknown.

“Parker took her home about an hour ago, she’s got the family doctor on standby waiting to meet her back at the manor.”

“So, does that mean we can all go home?” John asked hopefully.

Gordon shook his head. “She made me promise that we would represent her in her absence. Apparently someone from the Creighton-Ward family has been in attendance for the last two hundred years and we can’t let her down.”

“Well, if you promised I don’t see that we have a choice,” Virgil admitted.

“Oh, come on guys,” Gordon pleaded, seeing the looks of resignation on his family’s faces. “It won’t be that different to what we would have been doing already, we just have to be on our best behavior and follow a few more traditions, that's all.”

“Why do I feel like we’re going to regret this?” Scott groaned. 

***

“So you’re telling me now that we’ve all got to wear kilts?” Scott exclaimed, his displeasure written all over his face as he took in the five matching outfits that hung from a rail that had been wheeled into the shared living space of their suite. 

“Please, Scott?” Gordon begged. “It was one thing Penny made absolutely clear to me before she left and we can’t let her down.”

“Well I think it’ll be fun,” grinned Virgil, wandering over and reaching out a hand to stroke the soft wool of the kilt that bore his name. “I’ve always sort of fancied trying one but I’ve never had the chance. Plus, I’ve heard rumours that the ladies are quite fond of them,” he finished with an exaggerated wiggle of his eyebrows that made Cat snort with laughter.

“I’m already freezing and now you expect me to go out with bare legs?” John scowled, eyeing the rack of clothes like it was the devil, his hostility not helped by the fact that Alan had whipped away one of the kilts and was currently trying to use it like a cape while posing in front of a mirror.

“And no underwear, don’t forget that,” Selene added helpfully. “Let the boys swing free.” John really didn't think she needed to add the arm movements or imply that his undercarriage swung like the pendulum of a clock. 

“So they can freeze and drop off? No way in hell is that going to happen,” John shivered at the thought even though the room was warm enough. “Alan!”

Alan froze guiltily when his kilt flailing knocked over a pile of artistically arranged books and a vase of silk flowers that had adorned the antique coffee table. 

"Put the kilt back." 

Alan ignored him in favour of trying to tie the kilt around his waist as one would a sarong at the beach.

“I’m with John on that one,” Scott chipped in, shooting a glance at Cat who was doing her best to pout while laughing. “Not going to happen.”

“And here we were, about to offer our hands as warming devices, but since our services are no longer required…” Selene trailed off as she and Cat sighed dramatically in unison.

“Guys, seriously. Can we just get changed and ready? It’s really important we’re not late,” Gordon pleaded, looking to Virgil for support. 

“It’s bad enough that we were dragged here in the first place,” Mr Grumpy Pants Space Monitor continued to bitch, ignoring the eye roll his darling wife shot his way. “Now we're expected to dress up for the occasion. Well I for one refuse to be rushed, I'll get dressed in my own time."

“Come on, guys, I know it’s not how you’d maybe choose to spend tonight,” Virgil chimed in, eyeing John pointedly as he spoke, “but we’re here now and we may as well make the best of the situation. From what I hear, there’s going to be food, dancing and fireworks so the least we can do is try to enjoy ourselves.”

“Thank you, Virgil.” Gordon shot a grateful smile at his brother, glad that at least one member of the family seemed to be prepared to help him out. “Now can you all please grab your kilts and put them on so we can meet back here to figure out how on earth we’re supposed to tie these shoes?”

“I suppose that’s our cue to go and make ourselves beautiful too,” Cat said, nudging Selene who was staring at the kilts with a look on her face that said she was already having fantasies.

“Aww, but you’re already beautiful,” Scott grinned, kissing her on the cheek on his way past to collect his designated outfit.

“OK, smartarse. It’s our cue to make ourselves look more beautiful,” Cat shot back, her smile belying the tone of her words as she grabbed Selene and mavoeuvred her into the bedroom where they had set up their makeup and dresses earlier. 

“I don’t know why they are complaining,” Selene could be heard as Cat shut the door. “We have to suffer skirts all the time and all they do is praise the easy access.”

“She has a point,” John admitted. “But it’s not a good enough reason to suffer this so I won't be telling her that.”

“Come on,” Scott grinned, clapping John on the shoulder as he passed by. “It’s only one night and we’re not getting out of it. Might as well make the best of the situation.”

“It’s true what they say, in space no one can hear you scream, but on earth they can and they still don’t listen.”

“John, I’m telling you now, if you fuck this up by being your usual, anti-social self after I behaved at your wedding , I promise you that I will teach each and every one of your future kids every single prank I know and I will even buy them the props, now shut up and put the damned skirt on!” 

Gordon wasn’t angry very often, but when he was it went one of two ways, scary or hilarious. John felt his lips twitch as he tried very hard not to laugh. He’d like to say that it was an empty threat, considering they had explicitly said that they were not having kids, thank you very much. But he also knew that Gordon was very capable of holding a grudge if he so chose and Selene would never forgive him if twenty years down the line she sat down on a cling film covered toilet seat because he had pissed off the jokester of the family. He was a member of International Rescue, he dealt with difficult situations on an almost daily basis, he could deal with this.

“Fine, but if I get frostbite on anything below my waist I’m blaming you.”

“Thank you, John,” Gordon smiled, his shoulders dropping slightly as some of the tension he was carrying melted away. Grabbing Alan, he hurried him out of the room, fearful that John would change his mind if they lingered.

With Gordon and Alan out of the way it fell to the oldest three to sort themselves out. The hotel’s concierge had promised they could call upon him should they require any help. But, since they were grown adults that were capable of looking things up on the internet and finding a way out of every situation, they refused to ask for help in getting themselves dressed.

Virgil had already picked out his kilt and set it aside and was flicking through the rack of jackets to find one that might fit his frame.

Scott, knowing that he was beaten, had given in gracefully and was already stripping out of his casual clothes, folding them carefully to take to his room later. His military training had never quite left him like it had Gordon who was the messiest one of them all. 

John, now that he had been forced to promise his compliance, was determined to make sure that he did it perfectly. If something had to be done it was worth doing right. The fact that his phone had just beeped with a message from his woman telling him that she wanted pictures for her own personal use might have eased the sting a little. If she thought it was sexy, though he couldn’t understand why, who was he to argue? 

He started from the ground up, stripping out of his clothes as Scott had and pulling on the socks, which the internet was calling hose, something that just didn’t sit right with their American english vocabulary. Panty hose were something that were to be avoided at all costs, they were impossible to touch without snagging, impossible to find the entrance to in a hurry when your woman was wearing them and they seemed to be made of some kind of super elastic that stretched on for miles when you yanked at them. Thankfully, upon closer inspection of the box that had come with the kilt rack, they had found that scottish hose were rather different. 

A little garter thing called a flash had also been included and following the instructions currently playing from John's phone, they managed to get them in place and fold the tops of the hose down into something that resembled the smart style of the man in the video.

“So far, so good,” Scott admitted, sticking out one long leg to admire how his ankles looked. “Did it say shoes next?”

“Brogues.”

“Gesundheit,” Virgil answered automatically.

“No,” John growled, wondering if it was possible to divorce adult siblings, “I didn’t sneeze, the shoes are called brogues. I was correcting you.”

“John, correcting us, never thought I’d see the day,” Scott muttered under his breath, earning himself a snigger from Virgil but a glare from the brother in question.

“Just get the damned shoes on before I throw one at you,” John huffed, yanking on the laces and following the instructions with quick efficiency. 

Scott’s smug grin quickly turned to a frown as he came to tie his own laces, having to swallow his pride and ask John for help as he managed to knot them into a mess that it took both of them to fix.

“It’s not even difficult,” John sighed, unlacing one of his to show how it was done. “Just hold the laces up like this, twist them round themselves at least four times,” he demonstrated with deft fingers that seemed to blur the longer Virgil and Scott watched them. “Then pull them tight, take them round the back of the ankle, cross them and back round to the front,” he continued to work the laces, “then finish with a bow at the front. Simple.”

“I got as far as pull the laces,” Virgil admitted, all his engineering expertise abandoning him. 

“I got them tied but they just keep falling down again,” Scott despaired, looking at the sagging pile of laces around his ankle.

“That’s because you’ve got skinny little legs,” Virgil smirked. “No meat on them to hold the laces up.”

“Oh, is that so? Well, at least my shoulders will fit into the jacket,” Scott shot back with a grin.

“For crying out loud you two,” John gumbled as the good natured bickering threatened to take over and derail their progress completely. “Scott you’re tying them too high, that’s why they’re falling down. Try it again a bit lower while I do Virgil’s and if you still can’t get them right, I’ll do them for you.” 

“Thanks John,” Scott smiled, trying not to laugh as Virgil stuck his leg out, waiting patiently for John to come and help him out. 

Finally, all three boys had laces that were tied to John’s satisfaction and it was time to get their kilts on.

“It’s much heavier than I expected,” commented Scott as he lifted his kilt around his waist, sliding the buckles through the fabric to hold it closed. “I’m not sure you’ll be that cold in this John.”

“You know, I think you might be right,” John admitted, allowing himself a small, barely there smile. “There's always the chance of unwanted draughts but it’s definitely more substantial than I thought it would be.”

“Hey, Virgil, I think we just got a smile out of John,” Scott laughed, admiring the finished product in the mirror, unable to resist giving his hips a little swing, a smile playing on his lips as the fabric swung out satisfyingly behind him. “The night is looking up already.”

“Shut it, you,” John retorted, hiding a grin as he swung his kilt round to attach his sporran. He had to admit, now that he had it on, the outfit was growing on him.

***

Selene turned her back on Cat, allowing her to zip up her simple black dress and tie the tartan belt around her waist as a nod to the occasion. “Thanks, love, need help too?”

“No, I got this,” Cat answered, lifting an arm above her head, bending it effortlessly at what looked to be an impossible angle and reaching down to grasp the pull tab, sliding the zip up into place.

“It still amazes me that you can do that, it’s like you’re made of rubber.”

“It’s yet another perk to my ballet skills package,” Cat grinned, smoothing a hand down the sapphire blue fabric of her dress.

“That dress is gorgeous, it’s so you,” Selene gushed, “it’s like you just stepped off stage,” she paused when the sounds of arguing filtered through the closed door.

“Why can’t men be like us girls?” Cat sighed.

“I know, we compliment each other, we help each other and we get finished in half the time, yet it’s us that are called bitches and told we take hours to get ready. Lies. all lies.”

“I wonder how they’re getting on in there?” Cat mused. “They seem to be faffing a lot.”

“Think we should check on them?” Selene added, knowing how her friend's mind worked, which was along the same smutty lines as her own. “Just to make sure they don’t need any help, obviously.”

“Oh, obviously,” Cat agreed with a glint in her eye. “Wouldn’t think anything else.” 

“We probably shouldn’t be too obvious about it though,” commented Selene. “You know what they’re like, they don't like receiving help.”

“Agreed. Let’s just have a peek through the door,” Cat nodded as she padded across the room silently, pausing at the door to let Selene catch up. “If they seem fine then we’ll leave them to it and they’ll be none the wiser.”

“The best plan.”

Carefully turning the doorknob so it didn’t squeak, Cat cracked open the door just far enough for them to peer through to the room beyond. Clothes lay strewn across the sofas but there were no boys to be seen. 

“Dammit, they must be admiring themselves in the mirror over the other side,” Cat whispered. “Do you think we can get away with opening it a bit more?”

“Hang on, I’ve got an idea.” Selene scuttled back across the room and rummaged in her bag, pulling out her phone. Turning on the camera and hitting record, she returned to stand beside Cat. Sticking her arm around the door she angled the camera, following Cat’s silent directions as she checked the screen.

“Gotcha,” Cat nodded when they reached their target. “We’ve got three Tracy’s in kilts anyway. No idea where the other two are but it’s a good start at least. Pull that in now and let’s have a look.”

Selene withdrew her arm and Cat shut the door again with a soft click before they pored over the recording. 

“It’s no good, they’ve all got their backs to us. They’re very handsome backs but it’s not really what we’re wanting, is it?” Cat complained.

“Nope, not good enough, they got peachy butts so I don’t usually mind staring at their backs, but you can’t see them in a kilt. I need to see the full thing to judge.”

Cracking open the door once more, two pairs of eyes peered out into the room and were this time blessed with the sight they were hoping for. 

“Holy shit!” Cat exclaimed, rather louder than she was intending as she caught sight of Scott ambling around the corner. 

“Full frontal!” Selene yelped, backing away just in time before Cat smacked into her in her efforts to retreat. 

Honed by years of rescues, the boys' reactions were significantly faster than the two girls would like. Leaping across the sofa, Scott reached the door before they were able to close it, pushing it back open as they shrieked in surprise. “What are you pair of idiots doing?” he grinned, his eyes sparkling in amusement as he put two and two together. “Were you spying on us?”

“No…” Cat tailed off, unable to stop her eyes from tracking down her boyfriend as he stood in the doorway, shaking his head in exasperation. 

“We were just checking you were all getting on OK,” added Selene, shifting to look around him to get a glimpse of John. “There’s no rules against that, is there?” 

“Technically no, but now you’ve had a preview, it’s back to waiting for you both. You’ll get to see the finished product soon,” Scott laughed, shutting the door firmly behind him. 

“Nuts!” Selene grumped, flicking the middle finger at the closed door. “That is so unfair.”

“Might as well get comfortable. You know what that lot are like, we’re going to be here for ages,” Cat grumbled as she flopped down on the bed before springing straight back up again. “Hang on, I’ve got an idea.”

Crossing the room, she stopped at the door, her fingers on the handle as she considered her next move. “Oh, darling,” she called in a singsong voice, making Selene snort with laughter as they waited for a reply.

“Yes, dearest?” Scott replied wearily, opening the door a crack to see what she wanted. 

“Would you be so good as to get us a bottle of that champagne over there and vodka and coke please?” Cat smiled sweetly at him until Scott rolled his eyes at her and shut the door, returning a few moments later with their bounty. Turning back to Selene with a grin, she held the drinks up triumphantly. “If we’re going to be stuck in here, we may as well enjoy ourselves a little.”

“The most excellent plan you’ve come up with to date,” Selene grinned, saluting with her full glass. “They’re gonna regret busting us now, this might just be revenge drinking. Not that we aren’t totally justified, dealing with Tracy boys is hard work.”

***

Despite their threats the girls had actually been sensible, sticking to just one drink each to help ease the frustration of being stuck in a hotel room as their men roamed around outside looking all delicious and biteable while they were forbidden from snacking. Not fair at all. But they were also aware that they were representing Penelope and with consideration to this, they had limited themselves in the alcohol department. Although that hadn’t stopped them from turning on some music and singing along loudly (and in Selene’s case, out of tune) while they helped each other with their hair and makeup. The boys wouldn't know what had hit them when they saw them. If they could be all sexy in their kilts then the girls could be just as hot in their gowns, that would teach them.

After what felt like years, a knock came at the door and John’s voice informed them that everyone was now ready if they would like to join them.

“About bloody time,” Cat muttered quietly to Selene as they grabbed their bags and smoothed down their dresses, prepared to wow the boys. In reality, she hadn’t minded the wait but she had to admit it would be nice to get out of the room and on to the rest of the night. 

“Let’s do this,” Selene nodded as she threw open the door, her breath catching as she caught sight of John in his kilt for the first time. 

“Do I meet with your approval?” he asked, spreading his arms to show off the full look. She twirled a finger, directing him to turn around, watching the way the kilt swirled around his legs.

She nodded, dumbly.

“On par with Jamie Fraser?”

She nodded again. “I might even go so far as to say better than, but I’m a tad biased.”

A tap on her shoulder made her jump. "Mind if I squeeze past?" Cat asked with a knowing grin. 

Selene stepped aside to let Cat out of the bedroom where she was still being held prisoner, sneakily grabbing John by the hand to tow him into the vacated room and away from prying eyes.

“Dress inspection!” she called out in explanation, her hands already wandering up under the kilt to make sure his behind was exactly how she had left it.

“My turn now,” Cat grinned at her as she passed by, on her way over to where Scott stood waiting.

“You look amazing,” he whispered to her, wrapping his arms around her and brushing her lips with his own before releasing her quickly, aware that the eyes of all his brothers were on him.

“I could say the same for you,” she replied, blushing slightly as she looked him up and down once more. “It definitely suits you.”

“If everyone is ready now, we really should get going,” Gordon cut in, looking at his watch. “The invite says it starts at eight, but Penny was very clear that we would be expected to be there before then.”

“OK then,” Scott agreed, dragging his eyes away from Cat and looking around the room. “If everyone’s got everything, let's move.”

“Selene!” Cat shouted, trying desperately to get her friend's attention. “Time to move. There’s going to be plenty of time for that later, don’t you worry.” 

“Huh?” Selene responded vaguely too busy fishing around in her bag to locate her mirror, needing to fix her lipstick. She repaired the damage, whipped out a tissue to wipe over John’s lips to remove the evidence and smiled innocently at Alan who was making a puking motion in response. “All good here, we’ve been ready for ages.”

“Uh huh,” Virgil smirked, his eyebrow raised as he looked anything but convinced at Selene’s act. 

“Something you want to say, Muscles?” she demanded to know as she crossed over to his side, reaching up to straighten his collar, making sure it was sitting right.

“Nope,” he grinned as he stood placidly, letting her fuss with first him, then Alan, who had to suffer a hair smooth and sock pull up, managing to do so with minimal eye rolling. John just smirked evilly, knowing that there was no way to stop her once she was in her mother hen mode. He’d been smoothed and straightened already, now it was their turn.

“Has everyone got the keycards for the door in case you need back in?” Scott asked, effectively changing the subject and looking around for the series of nods that came in response. “Well, in that case, we’re all ready. Lead on, Gordon.”

“Does anyone know what we’re eating tonight?” Selene asked as they all trooped down the hall, “we didn’t drink much but we do need something to soak it up.”

“Last time I spoke to Penny, she said something about a buffet but I don’t know what it’ll consist of,” Gordon called back to her. “There’s going to be some speeches before the food appears so it might be a while.” 

“I’m warning you all now, if it’s anything weird on the menu I’m giving it to Scott and I’m sneaking out for a burger, just saying.”

“Why do I get your weird leftovers?” Scott asked.

“Because you are a weird leftover,” Selene shot back. “Besides, it’s like a game to you, you actually choose to eat weird things, you do it for fun. And people call me strange.”

“All lies.”

“You brought home fermented eggs last month and sat right next to me to eat them!”

“I was trying to improve your cultural education!”

“You tried to make me eat it too!”

“I was being nice, I was sharing!”

“Can you both please stop sharing before we get kicked out?” Gordon whined, beginning to perspire at the thought of trying to keep his rowdy siblings in check for the entire night. Honestly, he was beginning to realise just how much he took Grandma for granted, it was hard work. Usually he just had to sit back and watch the chaos he’d created, now the brogue was firmly on the other foot and he was damn sure that he didn’t like it.

“I think this is us here anyway,” John observed, distracting Selene by slipping his arm around her waist and pulling her close as they passed through the formidable looking main gate. “Look at that portcullis. Did you know that Edinburgh Castle is the most besieged place in the country?” he added, to a chorus of groans from the group.

“I thought we were here for a night out, not a history lesson,” moaned Alan quietly to Cat, who had to suppress a laugh as she’d been about to ask John to tell her more. 

“Hey, I happen to like that big, sexy brain of his, be nice!” Selene snapped in defence of her man. 

They continued their good natured bantering as they followed the sweeping cobbled path up to the castle, foregoing the steep stairs in consideration for the shoes the girls were wearing, no one wanted to have to carry them up the stairs no matter how much they loved them.

“I do love an old castle,” Selene sighed happily, reaching out a hand to touch the stones, letting her fingers graze along the cold, rocky surface. “I might not know all the fancy history, but I can feel it well enough.”

“I have to admit, this wasn’t what I expected we’d be doing this year, but as far as last minute plans go, this is a nice one,” Virgil agreed, his eyes roaming the imposing building, taking in the way the twinkling christmas lights that had been draped here and there twinkled on the stone. His hands twitched, fingers flexing like he was unconsciously reaching for a sketchbook or his paints, wanting to capture the images before him. 

The inside was as impressive as the outside, especially the great hall where the event was being held. Round tables bedecked with elaborate candelabras surrounded a large dancefloor with a small stage at one end. Having found their designated table on the seating plan and unsure of what else to do, they settled down for the speeches, having first dispatched Virgil, Scott and John to the bar to procure drinks for them all. 

“Is it bad that I’m finding these speeches really boring?” Selene whispered to Scott some time later, hiding behind a well placed napkin.

“Nope,” came Scott’s slightly strangled reply as he tried desperately to ignore Cat’s hand sliding up the inside of his bare leg beneath the cover of the tablecloth, his pained expression comical when compared to her look of complete concentration on the speaker.

Selene’s eyes slid to John who was sitting beside her with a glazed expression that boarded on martyrdom, she nudged him gently but he didn’t react, having retreated into his mind in an effort to preserve what little sanity he had left.

“How much longer until they quit yacking and release the food?” Alan whined to Gordon, who checked the schedule on his phone discreetly.

“About ten minutes ago,” he answered with a groan. 

“I think this is the last one though,” Cat informed them quietly. “It can’t be much longer now, surely.”

“We can but hope,” Selene sighed, nudging John again. “Babe? You good?” She dropped her hand to his knee, giving it a comforting squeeze. It would have been fine if she had stopped there, but when he twitched, the only movement he’d made in about twenty minutes, the urge to indulge in experimentation became too hard to ignore. 

Light fingers stroked his skin gently, inching their way higher as she explored a little more. A shocked cough erupted from her darling husband as his brain rebooted, bringing him back to the present. 

“Back with us, are you?” Virgil said, snorting lightly in amusement. “You looked like you were sleeping with your eyes closed.” 

“No, I was just,” John paused, stopping for a second like he was listening to something. Selene frowned, leaning in for a closer look.

“John!” she hissed. “You’re working! You’ve got your comm in, for the love of the gods!”

“I’m not working,” he protested. “I was just checking in with EOS making sure that no emergencies had come in. She’s been keeping tabs on Fischler’s new project, there have been rumours that he’s planning a big reveal in the next few days as a way of welcoming in the new year.” 

“Hand it over,” Gordon insisted, holding out his hand. “Honestly, I expected better from you.”

Applause distracted the group as the speech finally finished, allowing John to hand over his comm with minimum of fuss, all the while muttering under his breath.

“It won’t be too much longer,” Selene promised him. “Let’s just get through dinner and then we can sneak off if you want to, just think of our nice, quiet hotel room with its big, squishy bed.”

“If you truly loved me you’d have done your wifely duty and tied me to said bed and refused to let me leave, then I wouldn't have to be here.”

“I swear you get more dramatic every day.”

“Food!” cried Alan, grabbing the attention of the whole table, who turned as one to watch intently as large red curtains were pulled back to reveal a long buffet table, laden down with dishes. The rest of the guests seemed either unaware or unbothered by the feast, remaining steadfastly in their seats, chatting quietly amongst themselves as the group tried to work out what the etiquette was for such an event. Unwilling to break some unwritten rule, they remained at their table until finally they saw another guest wander slowly over and pick up a plate. As if the floodgates had opened, they descended upon the buffet, piling up their plates until they were groaning under the weight. 

“Cat,” Selene whispered, trying to catch her friend’s attention. “You’ve been all over the world, do you recognise anything here at all?” She pointed at one of the brown, round blobby looking things that sat on a big patter. They looked like less crispy, less wrinkly baked potatoes, but also had a look about them that said they were very much not a vegetable. 

“Nope, no idea at all I’m afraid,” Cat whispered back. “The best we can hope for is to take a bit of everything, then whatever we don’t like we can either feed to Scott or chuck it in a plant pot.”

“I see no plant pots,” Selene glanced around. “Think they would notice if we tipped it into a suit of armour?” 

“I think we could get away with it,” Cat agreed, surveying the options. “That one next to our table has a decent sized gap for the eyes. I reckon even we could manage to lob some of those weird potato things in there.”

“That’s the plan then,” Selene nodded before adding doubtfully, “I’m sure it’ll taste better than it looks.”

“Fingers crossed,” Cat agreed, watching as Scott meandered past with a plate piled high with goodness knows what. “Worst case scenario, we passed a chip shop just down the road from the hotel. We can always sneak down there if it’s really bad.”

“What was that about a chip shop?” Scott asked, doubling back to where they stood. 

“Never you mind,” Cat grinned at him, before nodding at his plate of food. “Are you seriously trying to fit more on that plate?”

“No, I think I’m pushing it at this stage, even for me,” he admitted, still eyeing up a new platter that had just emerged from the kitchen. “I’ll eat this and then see what’s left.”

“Is he getting sensible in his old age?” Cat asked an equally bemused Selene as they watched him retreating to the table. 

“I don’t know but it’s really unsettling, like seeing an alien or your teacher in Tesco,” Selene replied. “C’mon, let's grab some beige mystery food before it’s all gone.” 

“Sounds like a plan, Batman,” Cat agreed, to a snort of laughter from Virgil who happened to be walking behind them. “Like you say, we can always give the armour a good stuffing if it’s all terrible.”

Selene snorted, trying hard not to laugh at that oh so vivid description that sounded far too rude to be as innocent as it was, the wicked glint in Cat’s eye as she watched making it even harder to keep a straight face. 

Having gathered a much more sensible amount of food than the boys, they settled themselves back down at the table and tucked in.

“How is it?” Cat asked quietly, leaning over to Scott, who was predictably hoovering up everything on his plate.

“I have no idea what any of it is, but I quite like it,” he replied between mouthfuls. “Except this,” he added, holding up a forkful of what looked like beige mashed potato before shovelling it into his mouth and swallowing hard. “I don’t like this.”

“If you don’t like it, why did you just eat it?” asked Cat as patiently as she could, trying very hard to work out the logic on display. 

“‘Cos it’s there,” Scott shrugged, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Are you talking about that weird mash stuff?” Virgil called from across the table. “I think it’s turnip but I have no idea why it’s spicy. It’s not right at all.”

“It’s like something Grandma would cook,” added Alan, a look of disgust flitting across his face as he took a mouthful.

“Well I quite like it,” Gordon announced, looking around the table at a series of shocked faces. “If nobody else wants it, then put it on my plate and I’ll eat it for you.”

“This, on the other hand, is amazing,” Virgil declared. He’d cut open one of the weird potato things and was now steadily shoving it’s contents into his mouth while everyone was busily handing plates to Gordon. “We have got to have this again sometime.”

“Do we even know what it is yet?” Selene asked Cat, who shook her head.

“Just make sure Selene cooks it and not anyone else or it’ll end up totally inedible,” John advised, giving his wife a little smile of appreciation for everything she did for the family and earning a happy grin back. She didn’t like to blow her own trumpet but there wasn’t much that she couldn’t manage to make semi decent if she put her mind to it, even if it was a weird, brown blob of unknown origin.

“To be fair, that’s true of pretty much everything unless MAX gets involved,” Scott smiled, finishing off the last mouthful from his plate and putting his knife and fork down with a clatter. 

“I still think it’s some kind of weird stuffed potato, ” Gordon mused. 

“Tha’ thing on yer plate?” an older man with a broad Scots accent interrupted, having overheard their conversation from his own table nearby, “tha’s nae a tattie, tis a good ol’ haggis yer have there.”

Eyes around the table widened then dropped down to stare at their plates in horror. They had heard terrible stories about the things that went into making a haggis and they weren’t appetizing.

“A haggis?” Alan gulped, poking at the thing on his plate with barely concealed disgust. “Is that what I think it is?”

“Aye,” the man grinned, scooping up a large forkfull. “Tis sheeps puck.”

“I dread to ask but…”

“Sheeps puck means offal, the heart, liver and lungs of a sheep,” John started, pushing his plate aside looking rather queasy. “Mixed with onions, oatmeal and suet, seasoned with spices in a sheep's stomach and boiled-”

“John shut up!” Alan groaned, covering his mouth as he gagged.

“I still like it,” Scott shrugged, reaching over and eating some more from John’s discarded plate, nothing ever really put him off his food.

“Me too!” Virgil agreed, scooping another pile onto his fork.

“If you let grandma loose with a haggis we could probably bounce it up to you in orbit, John,” Gordon joked, poking it with his fork. "Then you wouldn't have to miss out."

“We should totally do that when we get home,” Alan exclaimed, to a series of puzzled faces around the table. There was a moment of silence as everyone looked to each other, wondering who was going to ask the question that they both did and didn’t want the answer to.

“I realise I probably don’t want to know the answer to this, but we should do what, Al?” Scott asked cautiously after it became clear that nobody else was going to.

“Get a haggis, boil it for ages then see how high we can bounce it,” Alan explained patiently, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Cat and Selene sat back and exchanged matching looks of resignation as the boys all pitched in enthusiastically, clarifying whether they each would have their own haggis and suggesting ways they could make a scoring system.

“I think it might be time for another drink,” Cat said quietly, leaning over behind Scott’s back to speak to Selene.

“You read my mind,” Selene agreed, getting up and linking her arm with the smaller woman’s as they crossed the room together, glancing over at the band setting up on the stage. “If that means what I think it does, I think we’re gonna need it.”

By the time they made it back to the table, couples were gathering on the dance floor for the start of the ceilidh and Cat grabbed Scott’s hand, wordlessly dragging him out of his seat and into the throng. 

“Really?” he protested half heartedly as they took their place in the wide circle that was forming around the outside of the dance floor. 

“If you want to date a dancer, you have to expect to dance,” Cat replied with a fond smile, knowing that this conversation was a ritual that they went through at every event that they attended. 

“Will they at least show us what to do?” he asked, looking around dubiously. This was not the kind of dancing that he was used to. If pushed, he could manage a passable waltz but Scottish country dancing was a different beast altogether and he had no idea what to expect. 

“Mind if we join you?” asked Selene, pushing her way in behind them with a resigned looking Virgil in tow.

“Wait, how did John get out of this?” Scott asked, indignation in his voice.

“Strategically timed bathroom break,” Virgil replied quietly, leaning in to Scott as he talked so as not to alert Selene to the premeditated nature of her husband's absence.

“John gets out of everything because he’s cute,” Selene groused, having heard them anyway, planting Virgil firmly in place and giving him a warning glare just in case he was entertaining thoughts of escaping.

A loud chord on the accordion halted any further attention as the MC for the night stepped up to the microphone and announced that they would be starting the evening with something called the Gay Gordons. 

“Oh thank God,” exclaimed Cat. “I learned this one at school one Christmas. I never thought it would come in useful but apparently I was wrong.”

The two couples patiently followed the instructions given out by the MC, running through the steps quickly before the music started and Selene and Virgil promptly tripped over themselves. 

“It’s really quite simple,” Cat shouted back to them over the music, dragging Scott behind her in a vague approximation of what the other men were doing. “It’s forwards for four, and then you spin round so you’re facing the other way and go backwards for four. Then do the same in the other direction.”

“Simple for someone who dances for a living and isn't the size of an ox like him or an uncoordinated dumbass like me,” Selene grumbled.

“I do have a dumbass of my own to deal with though,” Cat called back, giving Scott an inelegant shove in the right direction. “Now you spin under his arm like this for eight, then polka for eight and then you’re back to the beginning again.”

Selene only gave a harumph in acknowledgement, her attention taken over by the tangle of her and Virgil’s feet as they tried to keep up with the music. Slowly though, they began to get into the rhythm of it and by the time the music finished, they were making a passable attempt at the dance.

“That looked like fun,” Gordon commented with a slightly wistful look in his eyes as they arrived back at the table. 

“It was bloody exhausting,” Selene groaned, throwing herself into the nearest chair and reaching for a glass of water.

“Do you want to dance the next one with me?” Cat asked, taking pity on Gordon. “Although it looks like we might need three of us to make a set in this one. Alan? You up for it?” she turned to the youngest who could only nod, looking like a deer caught in the headlights. 

Scott flung himself into a chair next to Selene, happy to be sat down. Grabbing his whisky he watched as the group made their way onto the dancefloor for something called the Dashing White Sergeant. 

“Well, thank god that’s over,” he announced to no one in particular, still trying to catch his breath.

Seeing that it was finally safe, John hurried back to the table, clutching a beer like it was a lifeline, looking a little worse for wear, his usually neat hair sticking up all over. 

"What happened to you?" Scott asked. "Was it that hard to find the bathroom?" 

“People kept asking me if I’m Scottish because of my hair,” he whispered, dropping down into a vacated chair. “I’ve had three old ladies all rub it for good luck.”

“My poor love,” Selene commiserated, trying hard not to laugh as she patted his leg comfortingly.

“They wouldn’t stop touching me,” he shuddered, taking a fortifying sip. “I’m not moving from this seat again and you can’t make me.”

“That sounds perfectly fair,” Virgil nodded. “If you need anything then I’ll grab it for you. We can’t have you getting kidnapped by a little Scottish granny now, can we?” he added, to a snort of laughter from Scott. 

“Laugh all you want,” John sniffed, “but just you wait until they spot you and start asking you to carry things for them while squeezing your biceps, they have no concept of personal space.”

***

“TEN, NINE, EIGHT, SEVEN…” the assembled crowd chanted as they watched a large clock start counting down the seconds to midnight. The Tracy party had managed to stay huddled together as they were pushed and shoved from all sides as the crowd surged forwards like salmon swimming upstream, towards the doors that led to the courtyard outside.

“FOUR, THREE, TWO…” 

“Gah,” Gordon yelped as someone trod on his foot and tried to remove him from the protective bosom of his family. He’d never admit it but he was pathetically grateful that Virgil had grabbed his hand and was refusing to let go.

“ONE! HAPPY NEW YEAR!” the crowd screamed in unison, the loud cheering deafening to the ears. All around them couples embraced, indulging in many kisses for luck or hugging their neighbours. The two couples that were actually in attendance wasted no time in joining in, continuing the custom, their lips meeting as the air was filled with the noise of fireworks exploding overhead, painting the sky with colours.

“Happy New Year,” Scott murmured to Cat, holding her close for a moment longer before releasing her and turning to pull Alan into a hug. 

Following the crowd they had found themselves out in the cold night air, staring up at what had previously been a rather dull sky. A breeze had picked up over the course of the evening, blowing the clouds away and leaving a perfect night for the celebrations that were going on around them. 

Whichever way they looked, the sky was filled with colour, the explosions filling their field of vision as the shockwaves hit them in the chest, leaving them slightly breathless. 

“Get me out of this crowd,” John hissed in Selene’s ear, nudging her to get her to move. Rolling her eyes, she took his hand and led the way, winding through the crowd, smacking at an errant hand that tried to pet his head again. 

“Stop ruffling my husband!” she yelled at the innocent old man that had unfortunately stepped in front of the tiny scottish lady who had dared to touch the Tracy goods.

Dragging him away she found an enclosed little nook where they could still see the fireworks but were pretty much out of sight of the crowd and out of temptation range of anyone who wished to feel him up again.

“Thank you,” he sighed, dropping his head to her shoulder, tugging her into his arms. She wasn’t fooled, she knew he was using her as a human shield. The romance astounded her sometimes. “I was worried that they would succeed in their quest to rip a piece off me if we’d hung around there much longer.”

“It’s your own fault for being so good looking in your highland finery and possessing such a beautiful head of hair,” she answered, smoothing down said hair, attempting to finger comb it back into some semblance of its usual neatly swept style.

“Yes, how dare I wear clothes that were forced upon me and look semi decent in them, what a scoundrel I am.”

“Total scoundrel,” she agreed, kissing the tip of his nose.

“Lower.”

Selene lifted one eyebrow at his demanding tone. “Well, you do look really handsome tonight, so I suppose one little kiss couldn’t hurt.” Leaning in she pressed a gentle kiss to his lips, smiling against them when his arms tightened around her waist, pulling her closer while backing up further into their corner.

“I think I neglected to tell you just how beautiful you look tonight.”

“Why, Mr Tracy, how scandalous, you really are a scoundrel of the highest order. And me, a sweet, young, innocent...stop laughing!” 

“Sorry, let me make it up to you.” 

Try as she might she couldn’t help the giggles that bubbled up inside her as he captured her lips again.

“Where’ve John and Selene gone?” Scott asked, realising that two of the group were conspicuous by their absence, his eyes sweeping the crowd in a vain bid to try and find them. 

“I have no idea, but if they’ve ditched us then I think they’ve got the right idea,” replied Cat with a glint in her eye, grabbing his hand and dragging him out of the crowd, keen to find a similarly secluded spot where she could get him to herself for the first time since they arrived. 

As they rounded the corner, safely away from prying eyes, she felt a tug on her arm, stopping her in her tracks. Turning in surprise, Scott slammed into her, wrapping his arms around her as his warm lips found hers with an intensity that left her breathless. 

“I’ve wanted to do that all night,” he grinned, pulling back to meet her eyes, the reflection of the fireworks making them seem to dance in the night. “Have you got any idea how good you look in that dress?”

“Probably about as good as you do in that kilt,” Cat shot back with a smile, reaching up to kiss him again, more gently this time, pressing herself against him as she savoured the moment of calm that they had managed to find in amongst the craziness of the night. 

“Touche,” Scott laughed, kissing her forehead before spinning her round and pulling her into his chest, his arms wrapped securely around her waist again as they quietly watched the fireworks high above them, enjoying the sensation of her fingers intertwining with his own.


	2. Chapter 2

“TEN, NINE, EIGHT, SEVEN…” the assembled crowd chanted as they watched a large clock start counting down the seconds to midnight. The Tracy party had managed to stay huddled together as they were pushed and shoved from all sides as the crowd surged forwards like salmon swimming upstream, towards the doors that led to the courtyard outside.

“FOUR, THREE, TWO…” 

“Gah,” Gordon yelped as someone trod on his foot and tried to remove him from the protective bosom of his family. He’d never admit it but he was pathetically grateful that Virgil had grabbed his hand and was refusing to let go.

“ONE! HAPPY NEW YEAR!” the crowd screamed in unison, the loud cheering deafening to the ears. All around them couples embraced, indulging in many kisses for luck or hugging their neighbours. The two couples that were actually in attendance wasted no time in joining in, continuing the custom, their lips meeting as the air was filled with the noise of fireworks exploding overhead, painting the sky with colours.

“Happy New Year,” Scott murmured to Cat, holding her close for a moment longer before releasing her and turning to pull Alan into a hug. 

Following the crowd they had found themselves out in the cold night air, staring up at what had previously been a rather dull sky. A breeze had picked up over the course of the evening, blowing the clouds away and leaving a perfect night for the celebrations that were going on around them. 

Whichever way they looked, the sky was filled with colour, the explosions filling their field of vision as the shockwaves hit them in the chest, leaving them slightly breathless. 

“Get me out of this crowd,” John hissed in Selene’s ear, nudging her to get her to move. Rolling her eyes, she took his hand and led the way, winding through the crowd, smacking at an errant hand that tried to pet his head again. 

“Stop ruffling my husband!” she yelled at the innocent old man that had unfortunately stepped in front of the tiny scottish lady who had dared to touch the Tracy goods.

Dragging him away she found an enclosed little nook where they could still see the fireworks but were pretty much out of sight of the crowd and out of temptation range of anyone who wished to feel him up again.

“Thank you,” he sighed, dropping his head to her shoulder, tugging her into his arms. She wasn’t fooled, she knew he was using her as a human shield. The romance astounded her sometimes. “I was worried that they would succeed in their quest to rip a piece off me if we’d hung around there much longer.”

“It’s your own fault for being so good looking in your highland finery and possessing such a beautiful head of hair,” she answered, smoothing down said hair, attempting to finger comb it back into some semblance of its usual neatly swept style.

“Yes, how dare I wear clothes that were forced upon me and look semi decent in them, what a scoundrel I am.”

“Total scoundrel,” she agreed, kissing the tip of his nose.

“Lower.”

Selene lifted one eyebrow at his demanding tone. “Well, you do look really handsome tonight, so I suppose one little kiss couldn’t hurt.” Leaning in she pressed a gentle kiss to his lips, smiling against them when his arms tightened around her waist, pulling her closer while backing up further into their corner.

“I think I neglected to tell you just how beautiful you look tonight.”

“Why, Mr Tracy, how scandalous, you really are a scoundrel of the highest order. And me, a sweet, young, innocent...stop laughing!” 

“Sorry, let me make it up to you.” 

Try as she might she couldn’t help the giggles that bubbled up inside her as he captured her lips again.

“Where’ve John and Selene gone?” Scott asked, realising that two of the group were conspicuous by their absence, his eyes sweeping the crowd in a vain bid to try and find them. 

“I have no idea, but if they’ve ditched us then I think they’ve got the right idea,” replied Cat with a glint in her eye, grabbing his hand and dragging him out of the crowd, keen to find a similarly secluded spot where she could get him to herself for the first time since they arrived. 

As they rounded the corner, safely away from prying eyes, she felt a tug on her arm, stopping her in her tracks. Turning in surprise, Scott slammed into her, wrapping his arms around her as his warm lips found hers with an intensity that left her breathless. 

“I’ve wanted to do that all night,” he grinned, pulling back to meet her eyes, the reflection of the fireworks making them seem to dance in the night. “Have you got any idea how good you look in that dress?”

“Probably about as good as you do in that kilt,” Cat shot back with a smile, reaching up to kiss him again, more gently this time, pressing herself against him as she savoured the moment of calm that they had managed to find in amongst the craziness of the night. 

“Touche,” Scott laughed, kissing her forehead before spinning her round and pulling her into his chest, his arms wrapped securely around her waist again as they quietly watched the fireworks high above them, enjoying the sensation of her fingers intertwining with his own. 

***

“Remind me again why we came with couples?” Gordon groused as a quick head count revealed that their party was missing four members.

“Because you invited us?” Virgil shrugged, unconcerned by his missing brothers. They were adults and generally the most sensible ones he possessed, so he wasn’t that inclined to worry.

“They always do this, sneak off like that, every time we go somewhere,” Alan said, joining in with the bitching.

“They’ll be back soon enough,” Virgil soothed. “And frankly, I’d rather they sneaked off than putting on a display in front of everyone every time.”

“Ugh, yeah,” Alan said, pulling a face. “Nobody needs to see that.”

“Nobody needs to see what?” Scott asked, reappearing behind them, his arm securely around Cat.

“Nothing,” Alan replied quickly, hoping that the blush that he could feel creeping up his neck wasn’t visible in the dark. 

“What now?” Gordon asked as the last firework exploded in the sky with a deafening bang.

“Back inside I guess,” Virgil shrugged, watching as the other guests filed back into the hall, their voices seeming muffled in his ears after the assault that the noise of the fireworks had waged on them. 

“Seems as good an idea as any,” Selene agreed, materialising with John. “It’s bloody freezing out here so I’m going in even if you lot want to stay behind.”

Back in the hall, the group were mystified to find that instead of returning to their tables, the guests had formed a large circle around the dancefloor. 

“Please tell me this isn’t some kind of dance?” John whispered to Selene, clinging tighter to her like she could anchor him to the spot, his eyes darting here and there like he expected a stampede of old ladies to rampage towards him intent on grabbing any piece of him they could reach.

Selene patted his arm where it was hooked around her waist, lacing their fingers for extra support. 

“I don’t think it’s a dance,” Cat said, watching the proceedings.

All around the circle people reached out to take the hand of the person next to them.

“No idea,” Cat shrugged but joined in anyway, moving into the gap that someone made for them. Seeing the opportunity, Selene dragged John in too, who glared at the others until they too, admitted defeat.

The sound of bagpipes starting made them all jump but the familiar tune soon made the girls realise exactly what was going on and they joined in, singing along as best they could, stumbling over the slightly unfamiliar version of the lyrics as their arms were swung to and fro, forward and backwards in time to the music.

“Should auld acquaintance be forgot,  
And never brought to mind?  
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,  
And auld lang syne!”

Even though they were used to the English version rather than the original and more traditional Scottish, it was still comforting and familiar enough to make them smile and, when they accidentally slipped into the English and the Scottish man next to Scott still smiled at them, they relaxed and simply enjoyed. This wasn’t about getting the words perfect, it was about the celebration, the keeping of a tradition that spanned centuries.

“For auld lang syne, my jo,  
For auld lang syne,  
We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet  
For auld lang syne.”

Guests all around the circle moved as one, letting go of the hands they were holding to cross their arms in front of them.

“And there's a hand, my trusty fiere,  
And gie's a hand o' thine.”

“What are they doing?” Scott asked quietly, turning to Cat and Selene only to find them grinning. Cat offered her right hand to him, while Selene accepted her left. Scott slipped his hand into her’s, finding his free hand being grabbed by a happy looking drunk man beside him.

“And we'll tak a right gude willie waught  
For auld lang syne!”

Selene flapped her left hand at John who groaned, knowing he’d never get away with escaping now. Not having a clue what he was doing he copied her moves, crossing his arms and taking her offered left hand in his right, leaving his left hand free for the next participant, who happened to be Alan. 

Scott, seeing what was going on, took the hint and joined in on Cat’s other side, catching her hand,  
“I still have no clue what is going on,” Alan complained as Virgil’s meaty hand engulfed his own.

“It’s Auld Lang Syne,” Cat told him.

“It’s what now?”

“Auld Lang Syne,” Selene repeated, joining in the conversation. “Watch and learn, try to keep up.”

“For auld lang syne, my jo,  
For auld lang syne.”

“Why is everything so weird here?” Alan whispered to Gordon, leaning over Virgil to do so.

“Hey! It’s not weird, it’s tradition!” Selene shot back, rolling her eyes at Cat. “We’re in love with uncultured swines.”

“We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet  
For auld lang syne.”

“Excuse me, in my defense, I didn’t insult it,” John pointed out as Selene and Alan enthusiastically bounced his arms up and down.

“Me neither, so unless you’re in love with someone else, I think you owe us an apology,” Scott grinned, obviously thinking he had won that argument. Little did he know.

“Sorry to break it to you,” Cat deadpanned, keeping her face perfectly straight. “But you had to find out some time, didn’t he Virgil?”

“For auld lang syne, my dear, for auld lang syne,” Selene sang loudly, acting as if she’d heard nothing.

“What?” spluttered the innocent engineer, having been so busy trying to keep up with Alan’s arm bouncing and the song words he’d lost the thread of the conversation.

“We'll take a cup of kindness yet, for auld lang syne,” Cat sang along with Selene, ignoring the wheezing laughter coming from Gordon and Alan and John’s soft chuckle.

A loud cheer went up as the music came to its end and everyone let go of their neighbours hands

The girls cracked up laughing, unable to keep a straight face any longer, one look at Scott’s indignant scowl breaking their control.

"That was mean,” Scott scolded Cat, trying to stay serious as the girls howled, collapsing into each other's arms, each holding the other up as they laughed hard.

“It wasn’t that funny,” Scott huffed but his lips twitched once, twice and then he cracked.

“Come on, trouble maker,” John hauled Selene away from Cat as the band started a lively song, sacrificing himself in aid of his brother by sweeping her into his arms for a dance.

“That seems like a good idea,” Cat grinned, knowing he couldn’t stay mad at her as she looped her arms around his neck and pecked a kiss on his cheek.

*** 

“My feet hurt,” Selene whined, lifting one leg and dropping her foot into John’s lap so he could help her.

“You were the one that kept wanting to dance,” John pointed out helpfully, receiving a scowl for his troubles as he unbuckled the thin strap of her shoe and slipped it off, holding out his hand for her other foot.

“It was a party, there was music and drinks and that leads to dancing,” Cat added, coming to her friend’s defence as she returned from the bedroom having retrieved the remains of the champagne from earlier. “Nightcap?”

It had been a tired but happy (and slightly tipsy) party that had wound their way back to the hotel with various degrees of stability, some far more steady on their feet than others. They had collapsed the moment they entered the shared lounge, commandeering every couch and chair available.

Maybe the nightcap had been a bad idea, because although everyone was what Selene called physically tired, they weren’t mentally tired, which led to them helping to polish off the champagne (and a few other drinkables that the minibar provided) and chatting for a few more hours. And so it was rather late, or early depending on how you look at it, when they eventually fell into bed and slept the dreamless sleep of the inebriated.

That inebriation didn’t partner well with a loud knocking that shook the suite door at an hour that none of them cared to be awake to see. Five bedroom doors cracked open and heads poked out to see what the noise was about but nobody was willing to move further, each looking at each other in confusion before focusing on Scott until he took the hint and answered the call.

“Yes?” he croaked as he opened the door, eyeing the smartly dressed member of staff on the other side with suspicion. The world seemed to be spinning quicker than he was used to, and, although he would never admit it, his hand resting on the doorframe was only there partially out of habit.

“Lady Creighton-Ward left instructions for you to be woken in good time for the event this morning, and to that end, I am here with your breakfast,” the concierge informed him, indicating a trolley behind him piled with covered platters. 

“OK…” replied a bemused Scott, moving out of the way to allow the man entry, his eyes tracking his every movement as he placed plate after plate of food onto the table, the smell making him feel slightly queasy. 

“Does anyone have any idea what event he’s talking about?” Alan asked once they were alone again, piling bacon and sausages onto his plate.

“Nope,” Virgil replied, eyeing the food with suspicion before settling on a large cup of coffee instead. “Gordon? Any ideas?”

“Oh, it might be that swimming thing Penny mentioned?” Gordon mused, trying to get his brain to focus on a half remembered conversation from several weeks before. 

“Mmmf?” questioned John, his eyes barely open as he made his way gingerly across the room. Taking a seat at the table, he reached for the coffee pot, pouring himself a large cup and cradling it in his hands as he waited for it to cool. 

“Yeah, she said there’s some sort of tradition to go for a morning swim on New Year’s Day to clear the hangover,” Gordon continued, feeling more confident now his brain had woken up a little bit. 

Scott’s stomach lurched at the thought of bobbing around in a swimming pool. “I think I might give that one a miss this morning, Gords,” he shuddered, reaching for a glass of water to settle the nausea that rolled over him. 

“Nnnngh,” groaned John, shoving his coffee aside and resting his forehead on the table. 

“I think that means John’s out too,” Alan helpfully translated, taking in John’s now nearly translucent form. “I’m up for it though. Virgil?”

The engineer swirled his remaining coffee in his mug, considering his options carefully. “I’m in,” he eventually declared, the thought of plunging into cool water seeming strangely appealing to him.

John groaned again, shuddering like he was in the last throes of death. 

“Alan,” Scott whispered, not wanting to speak louder now that his headache was catching up with him. “Get Sel, will you? I think he needs to go back to bed.”

Alan, as the only mostly sober, bright eyed and bushy tailed one of the five, set his full plate down on the table beside John’s head and jumped up, ignoring the gagging noise that came from his brother when the smell of sausages wafted up his nose.

“SEL!” Alan yelled in through the open bedroom door.

Virgil groaned as the noise drilled into his aching brain. “We could have done that, can you try to be a bit quieter?” 

“Oh, sure, sorry,” Alan winced, realising that his usual volume probably wasn’t the best option. Snagging a cushion off a chair he took careful aim and threw it at the bed, hitting Selene on the head. “Score!”

A muffled string of curse words floated out of the bedroom, but the sound of rustling sheets and creaking springs announced the arrival of the witch.

“Sup?” she muttered, rubbing her eyes, smearing a little mascara around that she’d neglected to take off the night before.

“John’s dead,” Alan shrugged, going back to his plate, apparently unconcerned by his expired brother.

John lifted a hand weakly, extending his middle finger to point at his brother.

“He seems fine to me,” Selene commented, stealing John’s coffee and taking a sip. Putting the cup down again she lifted her man’s head and pushed on his shoulders to return him to an upright position, holding the cup to his lips. “Babe? Ya good?”

“Such sympathy from my loving wife and family,” he groaned, but took the cup from her and scooted back from the table enough to allow her to perch on his lap. Hotel rooms never had enough chairs.

“At least your loving wife is here and looking after you,” Scott groused, glancing to his bedroom door that remained resolutely closed. “My girlfriend hasn’t even gotten out of bed to see if I’m still breathing. Last she knew there was someone pounding on the door. I could have been kidnapped,” he finished melodramatically to snorts of laughter from Selene.

“That wouldn’t happen,” John assured him, “no one would be stupid enough to want you.”

“Oi,” Cat exclaimed, appearing from the bedroom with perfect timing, wrapping her arms around Scott and leaning over his shoulder to give him a kiss on the cheek. “Are you calling me stupid?”

“More misguided.”

“Fair enough,” she shrugged, picking up a sausage from the platter on the table and taking a bite before continuing. “And you’re at least partially right. Someone might kidnap him but they’d definitely bring him back again.”

“And I thought you were on my side,” Scott protested, clutching his heart. “You wound me.”

“Oh shut up and drink your coffee, you big idiot,” Cat told him, pouring two mugs and pushing one over to him before taking another bite of her sausage..

“I’d keep you,” Selene promised him. “You always sniff out the best snack in any location, you’re a useful asset to have on the team.”

“Can we please stop talking about food!” John yelled, dropping his head back into his hands.

“If no one but Alan wanted food, why did you guys order it?” Selene asked, snagging a slice of toast and laying a piece of bacon on it before folding it in half.

“We didn’t,” Scott replied, tentatively taking a sip of coffee. “It just arrived with instructions that we have to be up for some event this morning.”

Cat and Selene exchanged slightly guilty looks, unable to keep the smiles off their faces.

“What’re you two looking at each other like that for?” Virgil demanded, instantly on alert. 

“Us?” Selene squeaked innocently. “No reason, why would there be a reason?”

“There’s always a reason,” John replied, watching them both carefully. “What do you know that we don’t?”

“How much I love you?” she answered, fluttering her eyelashes at John. 

“Bullshit,” Scott cut in, totally unconvinced at Selene’s attempts at diversion. “Cat? What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” she squirmed, suddenly finding her coffee very interesting. 

“C’mon sweetheart,” Scott pressed, standing and gently running his hand around the small of her back, pulling him into him before kissing her neck where he knew would make her powerless to resist. “Whatever it is, you can tell us.”

Selene rolled her eyes, knowing her partner in crime was lost to her now. Weak ass ballerina. 

Sending Selene a look preemptively asking for forgiveness, Cat crumbled. “It’s a costume thing,” she mumbled, hanging her head in shame at how easily she had been bought.

“Nope!” John said, refusing immediately.

“Absolutely not,” Scott agreed as he shook his head firmly, promptly regretting it as his brain seemed to slam against the inside of his skull. 

“Costumes? Cool,” Gordon exclaimed, even more enthusiastic for the swim now. “Did you bring them with you?”

“What do I get to be?” chimed in Alan, jumping up and eyeing up the door to Cat and Scott’s bedroom as if the costumes might magically appear. "Maybe a superhero." 

John’s arms were wrapped around Selene’s waist, holding her on his lap, his head resting on her shoulder, and if the soft snoring was any indication, he wasn’t planning on moving any time soon. 

“I think you’re gonna have to do it without him,” she told Gordon. 

“Rubbish, it’ll do him good,” Gordon poked his sleepy brother until he roused himself enough to slap his hand away. “Anyway, he’s not really asleep. He’s just pretending because he’s too scared I’ll look better in a costume than him.”

“I’m not sure about that,” Virgil replied doubtfully, stifling a yawn of his own. “He does look pretty tired.”

“Are you besmirching my husband's honour?”

“Oh, big word for so early in the morning,” Scott grinned, needling her just a little bit more, just because he could.

“John,” Selene nudged her almost comatose space man. “All your brothers are picking on us, can I curse them?”

“Sure,” he mumbled. “Just do it quietly.”

“Aren’t you even going to ask what they did to deserve it?”

“Nope, I trust your judgement.”

“You’re going to let your wife fight your battles for you?” Gordon teased.

“Yes.”

“Well, there’s no shame in that, is there, Scott?” Cat asked.

“Sure there is. He’s just being a wimp.”

“What is your problem today?” John growled, lifting his head to shoot a squinty eyed glare at Scott.

“It’s just a little swim in a costume and you’re wimping out.”

“I don’t see you agreeing to it.”

“Fine! I’ll do it, there, happy?”

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

“God, you men are ridiculous,” Cat groaned, looking at Selene for support, who simply shrugged, more than used to it.

***

“Just a little swim, he said,” Scott hissed, glaring at Gordon.

“Costumes are cool, he said,” John joined in, appearing to have forgotten that Scott was mostly the reason he was there in favour of throwing his own glare at Alan.

Selene and Cat wrapped themselves up tighter in the blanket they were sharing, watching their menfolk as they stood shivering on the riverside, dressed in costumes that they would never have chosen even if they had a gun to their heads.

“Well, I hate to say it, but I’m not sure Scott has the legs for that tutu,” Selene whispered to Cat.

“Don’t tell him I agreed with you,” Cat laughed, pulling Virgil’s jacket closer around herself under the blanket, shivering against the cold breeze that whipped around them, finding its way into every gap.

“Do you think mine looks better in that dress than I do? It’s kinda hard to breathe in a corset at the best of times but, and call me biased, I think he makes a pretty sexy witch.”

“He is looking good, I’ll give you that one. Although he’s not quite got the cleavage for the top,” Cat agreed, casting a critical eye over John.

“He's got the thigh muscles to keep him locked to a broom, though.”

“Come on, guys, it’s not that bad,” Gordon could be heard defending himself. “Look at my tail!”

“I have no idea how he can even stand up in that, let alone walk,” Cat whispered to Selene.

“Describing what he’s doing as walking might be pushing it to be honest,” Selene laughed, watching as Gordon waddled towards the crowd, his mermaids tail glinting in the sunlight. 

“I’m too hot,” Alan complained, pushing back the hood of his teddy bear onesie.

“Wait until you’re freezing cold and waterlogged,” John sniffed. "Then you won't be complaining."

“I’m OK at the moment,” Virgil added with a shrug, his bulkier frame apparently throwing off more body heat than his more slender brothers, even though he was wearing nothing but denim hot pants and a knotted plaid crop top. 

“This is so scratchy,” Scott complained to Cat, fiddling with the underside of his tutu. “How the hell do you wear these all the time?”

“Well, it’s not my fault you wouldn’t wear the tights,” Cat shrugged, totally unconcerned at his discomfort. “I did warn you.” 

“This boning is flattening my lungs.”

“That’s because you have a manly chest, my love,” Selene called back to John, pouring herself a cup of hot chocolate from one of the flasks the hotel had provided along with toweling robes and sweatpants. 

“You’d better get going, everyone’s lining up ready to go,” Cat said, giving Scott a shove towards the water, choosing to ignore the look of betrayal that he shot her. “Can’t let Gordon get in ahead of you in the line and beat you into the water now, can you?” she added with a glint in her eye. 

“I knew I’d lose something delicate to frostbite by the end of this trip,” John muttered darkly as he begrudgingly accepted a small kiss for luck from Selene then, like a man going to the gallows, he moved to join his brothers.

Cat and Selene stood guarding the pile of belongings, staying a safe distance away from the water and crowds, just in case anyone decided they might require a dunking. They had both learned from experience that you could never be too careful.

The crowd was huge, they guessed somewhere in the region of three hundred people participating and an even bigger crowd watching, ready to cheer and offer moral support.

“Think they’ll hate us after this?” Selene whispered to Cat.

“To be honest, I think they hate us already,” Cat murmured, catching sight of the baleful looks Scott was still throwing her way.

“Guess we’ll just have to make it up to them with lots of hugs and warm things.”

“I’ve heard worse ideas,” Cat giggled.

“The sacrifices we make for these boys.”

“It’s a very hard thing, but someone’s gotta do it,” Cat mused, before realising what she’d said and exploding in laughter.

Selene snorted in response. “With that amount of cold water? I doubt we’ll ever see a boner again.”

“That would be sad. We’ll just need to make sure we get them nice and warm later, won't we?”

“Again with the sacrifices, what do they do for us, huh?”

“They get nice and warm…” Cat tailed off with a shrug.

“You do realise that our flight clearance is in an hour? So we’ll have to deal with cold, wet boys all the way back to the island before we can look after them properly?”

“Fuck. I hadn’t thought of that.”

“We must remain strong,” Selene started, only to be interrupted as the crowd began to chant a countdown. On the final word the crowd moved as one, surging forwards, dragging the unwilling members of the Tracy crew along with them.

The girls heard an almighty splashing, immediately followed by screams and curses as the cold water hit the swimmers hard.

“Welp,” Selene sighed, popping the ‘p’ “Happy New Year.”

“And to you.” Cat risked the invasion of the cold as she pulled Selene into a one armed hug. “Who knows what this year will bring, but here’s hoping it won’t be anywhere near as weird as this.”

“It’s a weird family, but you get used to them,” Selene laughed, hugging her back. “And as for what it’ll bring, you can never tell, so I guess we just have to wait and see.”

The girls watched as their drenched boys struggled their way out of the water, gasping for air, cursing under their breath. Selene shrugged as she grabbed a robe ready for Gordon who was the first one out. As weirdness went, this was pretty low down the scale, but she didn’t want to tempt fate.


End file.
